Dragged myself out of bed this morning. Throughout class kept telling myself that i need to have some coffee. Cold n drowsiness- deadly combination! And then just like that things change, even before a cup of coffee, met Uma online. Was able to unload my heart at least a bit.
It always amazes me how just when this world seems so hard and un-understanding you just come across a ray of light. Sometimes it seems so small and brightens up on a corner of your life but then it always makes the corner warm enough for you to venture out a little further, with a little more confidence.
Sometimes I find myself in front of a door. Should i go in? Maybe not, what if there is something dangerous lurking there? What if i can't find the ground my feet? I'd rather remain where i am in this territory that i am so familiar with. But then somehow closed doors interest. Maybe i'll peep inside. It's dark in there. Maybe there's a light. I go inside to look for a light. Oh no the door has that automatic closing system damn! Now, how the hell do i get out. It's cold, it's dark. My heart seems to be beating so loud. Where is the switch? Do i walk about? Do i call for help? Oh no, i might awaken things that i should stay away from. As i walk about cautiously weighed down by my thoughts and fears, i stumble. It's another person. In this same place. We were sharing this darkness for so long and didn't know it. Together we look for the light. It seems so reassuring to know that i'm not alone. We a crack of light. It's another door! Do we go there? But who knows what we might find? But there seems to be a light. And i'm not alone.
Being lonely comes so easily. Sometimes the most difficult thing is to accept that there is someone else going through the same thing you are fighting off. Doubting and thinking 'i can handle this by myself'.
I knew that this trip was going to be tough. My heart has remained there. The things i recognise, the smells i love, the words i understand, the waters i adore, the Sometimes i feel i want to let it all go and just go back. But then i'd be a coward.
But then life's not all that cruel. It's sent me friends. Claire and Doreen, no exaggeration, i'd be a wreck without you guys. And all my friends at home, just recieving mail from you, even if it's just a hi- hwz- life- in- France- scrap it keeps me alive. The missed calls n the chats, u keep me alive. Seriously!
And then, friends i've made now in France. It's just the thought that we are going through these ups n downs together has given me the courage to make the best of my stay here.
What ever happens, i guess the best part of this trip will be the new friends that we have made. And the strenghtening of the old friendships that makes life worth living and worth fighting for. Can hardly wait to see all of u again.
It always amazes me how just when this world seems so hard and un-understanding you just come across a ray of light. Sometimes it seems so small and brightens up on a corner of your life but then it always makes the corner warm enough for you to venture out a little further, with a little more confidence.
Sometimes I find myself in front of a door. Should i go in? Maybe not, what if there is something dangerous lurking there? What if i can't find the ground my feet? I'd rather remain where i am in this territory that i am so familiar with. But then somehow closed doors interest. Maybe i'll peep inside. It's dark in there. Maybe there's a light. I go inside to look for a light. Oh no the door has that automatic closing system damn! Now, how the hell do i get out. It's cold, it's dark. My heart seems to be beating so loud. Where is the switch? Do i walk about? Do i call for help? Oh no, i might awaken things that i should stay away from. As i walk about cautiously weighed down by my thoughts and fears, i stumble. It's another person. In this same place. We were sharing this darkness for so long and didn't know it. Together we look for the light. It seems so reassuring to know that i'm not alone. We a crack of light. It's another door! Do we go there? But who knows what we might find? But there seems to be a light. And i'm not alone.
Being lonely comes so easily. Sometimes the most difficult thing is to accept that there is someone else going through the same thing you are fighting off. Doubting and thinking 'i can handle this by myself'.
I knew that this trip was going to be tough. My heart has remained there. The things i recognise, the smells i love, the words i understand, the waters i adore, the Sometimes i feel i want to let it all go and just go back. But then i'd be a coward.
But then life's not all that cruel. It's sent me friends. Claire and Doreen, no exaggeration, i'd be a wreck without you guys. And all my friends at home, just recieving mail from you, even if it's just a hi- hwz- life- in- France- scrap it keeps me alive. The missed calls n the chats, u keep me alive. Seriously!
And then, friends i've made now in France. It's just the thought that we are going through these ups n downs together has given me the courage to make the best of my stay here.
What ever happens, i guess the best part of this trip will be the new friends that we have made. And the strenghtening of the old friendships that makes life worth living and worth fighting for. Can hardly wait to see all of u again.
3 comments:
That is true, we add to our frights, we weigh down ourselves further, not understanding that sometimes, letting others share the weight only makes it lighter. We are not the only lost ones around, there are many others too but its only the lucky ones who find a friend like you :)
true you are.. have realised in the time that we have known each other.. have grown to be the best of friends, sharing our moments of sorrows n happiness everyday!hehe.. hey i cant live without you! :)
so TRUE!!!... keep smiling!! :)
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