Was watching 'Finding Neverland'. Took a break coz i wanted to write. The movie, all the role play and make belief reminded me of my days when I was a child. We had this neighbour, we called her Nani Sophie, she was quite an elderly lady whom my grandmother used to call 'Auntie'. We wold go to her house to play and she would play with us, thinking up games and little plays. I remember once she made warrior suits for us out of jackfruit leaves. The whole outfit, with crowns and swords and all. I can't remember exactly how the play went, but I remember we waited like that in those outfits till my parents came home in the evening so that we could show them the costumes and how we looked in them. Then of course we played cooking cooking. Guess after playing cooking cooking so much i might have been quite a cook now, but no! Yet come to think of it even now if I do prepare something I try to make believ a scene where i am cooing for someone and have these conversations with myself. Funny me.

But then Finding Neverland made me think of the place where we all escape to when we are on our own. In the movie Parzania this little boy Parzan makes up his own little land Parzania. It's something like Thomas Moore's Utophia I guess. The perfect place, our dream land. J. M. Barrie says that little boys should not be made to sleep, because they wake up one day older. He is afriaid that Peter is trying to grow- up faster than he can. We all did that as kids, didn't we? We all wore Momi's outfits and shoes, pretended to be teachers or some shop- keeper, or doctor or some grown- up. Never realising that when we got to the stage when we would be working hard (or hardly) we would be yearning for those days of innocence, wishing we could be 10 years old again and never having bigger problems than escaping a pasting from Momi or a yelling at from Granny.

But then we all have that child in us. I never want that part of me to grow. When I see a child I want to see through her eyes. Like The Little Prince. He sees everything so clearly. The adult world looks so absurd. Working for things that don't matter, trying to drown out the sorrows that we create for ourself. Forgetting to have fun on the way, just coz we are always thinking what other people will say about us. That's one thing I like about being in France when i'm with my friends I can react to things however I want to. Don't care even if they call us 'bloody Indians' coz I know that I'll never meet them again.

Sometimes when am happy I actually skip and walk along coz i don't care if people think i'm crazy as long as i'm happy.

Lots of people speak about discovering the child in you. So i won't say all that. But then there are times when instead of dreaming about the past and yearning for the long lost days I guess all we should do is enjoy something, anything even if it is something we see or do everyday, enjoy it just for the sake of it in the simplest possible way. Sometimes I think being childlike is just being yourself and not taking things for granted. Being curious and apriciating things! And trying to be happy without asking for too much coz happiness is like jam, you can't spread it without getting a little onto yourself!